Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
