The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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