It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
