we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
