He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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