You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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