yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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