I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
