Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Moan for me like Helen Keller
People in love make me want to vomit
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
