We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
