Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
