it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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