Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
