i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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