Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
