i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
