i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
