i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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