You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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