White coat. Heels.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
