I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
