The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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