found the other keg... it's in the tree
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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