but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
