Ambien. No doubt about it.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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