even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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