If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
