I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
