i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Randomize
