yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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