I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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