I cut my penus on the lid.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
