im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
