the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
