im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
