we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
