we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
