You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
