I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
