i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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