why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
