Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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