Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
