she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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