i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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