the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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