I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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