Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
