Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
