Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
