also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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