OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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